Apples to Oranges to Bananas?

How do we lead well with so many different perspectives?

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A story

The room was getting increasingly tense. Pastor Kelly was sure this board meeting was going to end as frustratingly as too many previous ones had over the past year. Seventeen church board members and three clergy staff. Two hours into the conversation and Kelly was convinced the board members were having multiple conversations—simultaneously!

Jim was representative of one of the conversations. “I just don’t understand why we can’t get this problem fixed. We’ve talked about it before, and frankly I was frustrated when I saw it on the agenda again. Three months ago, we hashed this out and I assumed Pastor Kelly had enough information to put this to bed. Am I missing something?” he added brusquely.

Jim’s frustration and tidy solution was too much for Adriana. She looked up from her doodling and faced Jim squarely, took a deep breath, and said: “Look Jim, maybe you think this is a simple problem, but I don’t. And I doubt I’m the only one in the room who feels this way. I don’t love talking about the same problem over and over, but I believe we’re making progress. We’re getting a better understanding of the challenge before us.” 

Adriana continued. “And Pastor Kelly implemented one step to address this challenge using the clarity we got at the meeting you mentioned. That’s the best she could have done at this point. We are learning our way into the rest of the challenge. Further, I don’t believe this is simply a board problem. We need to engage the congregation. There’s a lot of learning that needs to happen before we can take any next big steps.” 

She exhaled as quietly as she could, looked down at her agenda, and began doodling again.

Danica was sitting across from Adriana and Jim. She sighed deeply. Newly-elected board chair Arlo looked at Danica, and attempting some levity, said: “Wow, that was a deep sigh, Danica. Are you willing to share your wisdom?” 

“Well,” Danica began, “if you must know, I have yet a third way of viewing our conversation.” 

“Do tell,” Arlo said, hoping to prod Danica into adding some light to the heat being generated in the room. 

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Not every problem we face in the church is the same. Some problems are technical and some are adaptive. Spotting the difference can help us lead well.

“Well,” Danica said again, “I certainly sympathize with Jim and his frustrations that we’re having this conversation again—or still. But I also understand some of what Adriana is trying to highlight. I also don’t believe this is as simple as you want it to be Jim; and I wish I was as confident as you are, Adriana, that we can just learn our way into the solutions by more conversation. I guess,” Danica hesitated, “I guess, I was raised to see that life just has some challenges, and that some won’t necessarily ever go away.”

“You might call it a polarity,” Danica continued, “or as my coach calls it, a dynamic tension,” she said with air quotes, highlighting that it wasn’t yet a term that felt comfortable. 

“I guess what I’m saying is, there are some things that are clearly fixable, like a flat tire. And certainly, there are things we can only understand if we learn more about a challenge that currently lies beyond our experience. But I also believe there are things in life we don’t fix as much as we just manage them.”

There was a brief silence before Pastor Kelly took a risk and spoke up. “I’ve been sitting here thinking there are multiple conversations going on simultaneously in this room. And I think we just heard three voices outlining three different perspectives. Jim, and I suspect a few others, believe this is a technical problem with a fixable solution. All we need to do is take action, and as Jim says, put it to bed. I wish I felt more confident that it was that simple. 

Adriana, and clearly some others, believe this is less about fixing something at this point and more about finding ways to learn about and better understand our adaptive challenge. And that it surely involves expanding the conversation to members of the congregation. That makes sense to me, yet I also grow weary of juggling so many balls in the air. 

And I hear Danica’s wisdom that some things in life just are the way they are, and that we need to adjust to navigating between what are perhaps two poles. Arlo, I’m wondering if we could break up into small groups and discuss what to do about these three perspectives in the room?”

Apples, oranges and bananas?

Pastor Kelly was right to suspect there were multiple conversations happening simultaneously. And this is not uncommon. Many boards, leadership teams, and other groups struggle with the reality that we see life through different lenses. 

Some of us tend to view things more technically and tend to believe most things are in fact fixable with the knowledge we have currently. Or that we can hire the expertise we need if the problem is beyond our experience.

Others of us tend to see things as more complex and systemic, and that often the best we can do now is to gain a better understanding of the situation—with a focus on learning what next steps to take. From this adaptive view we see the process as a helix that spirals upwards, circling around while gaining more perspective and understanding with each pass.

Still others of us tend to see the world through a lens focused on understanding how to navigate and adapt to the realities that are simply part of life. Realities that won’t be going away. From this view we realize that life is filled with polarities to navigate, or manage

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If you recognize this multi-perspective dynamic in your group, don’t stress. It is normal. But what to do about it? If we’re not comparing apples with apples, then how do we determine what to do?

Well, it depends. 

Which fruit?

How do you know when you have an adaptive challenge that requires learning before fixing? How is it different from a technical problem? What if what I’m dealing with is actually a polarity to manage?

Ronald Heifetz, professor at the Harvard Kennedy School, has been helping leaders for several decades understand the importance of adaptive leadership. Heifetz believes the single biggest failure in leadership is treating adaptive challenges like technical problems. When everything looks fixable, we fail to see the larger systemic dynamics that give rise to symptoms. Focusing on treating symptoms without addressing the deeper, underlying challenges often makes things worse while only providing temporary, and often superficial, relief. 

In addition to technical problems that need fixing and adaptive challenges that require learning, there are polarities that require managing to get the best of both poles. Too often we view the benefits of our preferred pole and contrast it with the overuses of our less-preferred pole. Kelly Lewis and Brian Emerson have built on the groundbreaking work of Barry Johnson in their book Navigating Polarities. They explain the importance of securing the best of both poles held in dynamic tension by the means of discovering what they call a Third Way.

Summary

A key component of successful leadership is to identify what type of situation the leader and/or team is dealing with. Each perspective likely holds some of the necessary data for making the best decisions. Time spent identifying, clarifying, and agreeing on the type of situation will be regained and usually more than compensated for by focusing a team’s efforts on being clear—together—on what type of situation they are dealing with, and what action will be most helpful.

Resources:

Here are some resources you might find helpful as you explore this topic:

  • Philip Bergey

    Philip C. Bergey, PhD, PCC, EPC, is a seasoned executive leadership coach, process consultant, business leader and educator. Phil spent 14 years as a judicatory executive with the Mosaic Conference of Mennonite Church USA. Through Design Group International he coaches clergy and business leaders. Learn more at PhilipCBergey.com or LeadershipMeetsLifePodcast.com or LeadershipMeetsLifeBlog.com.

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