A Tale of Two Welcomes

Creating belonging when the worship leader is just visiting

Published
pastor speaking with two youth
April 2022 Monthly theme graphic - Belonging

One Sunday morning I was greeted with a smile and embrace by the oldest charter member of a small country church. After he relieved me of the things I was carrying, he told me everything I needed to know that morning about how they worshiped, introduced me to the other participants in leadership, and sat near the front during the service in case I had any questions. Before the service ended, as a thank you, he presented me with a beautiful pastel drawing of the church building and its front yard garden signed by himself, the artist! 

One Wednesday evening I went to a congregation to lead a midweek Lenten worship service. I arrived early because I knew there was a light supper being served beforehand. When I walked into the entryway of the church, I saw no one anywhere. So I found a place to hang my vestments and started to follow the faint din of voices I could hear coming from the fellowship hall downstairs. I walked down a hidden stairway that started in a small room at the front of the worship space and landed me in the church’s kitchen where people were serving the meal. I was wearing the typical black shirt/clerical collar of a clergy person, so it was obvious that I was there to lead worship. I smiled and said hello. They looked at me, said nothing, and went back to what they were doing, talking amongst themselves. I left the kitchen and picked up a plate at the counter where there were bowls of soup, pieces of bread, and beverages available. Then I sat down at a table where others were sitting nearby. I greeted them. They nodded and then continued their conversation. 

When I finished I went back upstairs to ready myself for the worship service to begin. The pianist was playing the piano. An usher was picking up leftover bulletins from Sunday. Neither of them spoke to me. At one point I wondered if I had donned my invisibility cloak without realizing it. After the worship service, I stood at the door as people left. A few people said the polite thank you. I went to change out of my robe. When I walked back through the sanctuary and out the door, the building was as empty as I’d found it an hour and a half earlier. 

What happened?

I have thought a lot about that Wednesday evening experience. It couldn’t have been more unwelcoming had they made a concerted effort to be so. I tried to make sense of it. Maybe this congregation was naturally shy and just didn’t have a very outgoing personality. Maybe it was because it was Lent, which is a solemn and quieter time of the church year. Maybe they don’t like pastors because they have been burned by them in the past. Maybe the individuals there that night are intimidated by pastors and don’t feel comfortable interacting with them. Maybe all they knew about me was I worked with the bishop, and they were one of those congregations who only remembered negative experiences with the bishop. Maybe they didn’t know who I was at all, and I was just a stranger imposing on them—so it was just plain awkward. Perhaps their pastor had not told them I was coming or what I would need. All or none of the above are possible. But I came to believe something else. 

Guest and host

In the Bible, Jesus is the host even when he is the guest. He starts as a regular guest at the wedding at Cana (John 2). But then he takes the role of the host when he turns the water into wine and serves it to save the family from humiliation. After Jesus’ resurrection on the walk to Emmaus (Luke 24) where he meets some of his disciples on the way, they beg Jesus to come to dinner with them and be their guest. But when the meal begins he becomes the host as he was at the table the night before his death (Luke 22). In the way of the host, he takes the bread, gives thanks, breaks it and gives it to them to eat. 

When a pastor enters a church, or any church setting, whether it’s their own or not, they are never perceived as a guest in need of welcome. I wasn’t wearing an invisibility cloak. I was wearing a clerical collar. I was the pastor even though I was not their pastor. And in any room full of people and a pastor in a church, the pastor is (rightfully) seen as the leader with all the trappings that go along with the role. The leader is one who knows what’s going on, where to go, who people are, and what to do. Why would the pastor need to be welcomed or tended to? The pastor is always the host even when she is, in nearly every way, a guest. 

They were not wrong. For about an hour, we stretched the temporal limits of a church building in a small town where we were only strangers and became the Body of Christ, bound together by the eternal Lord of hosts, Jesus. In Jesus’ name, I welcomed them to a space that was theirs more than it was mine. In Jesus’ name I proclaimed forgiveness and led prayers on their behalf. In Jesus’ name, I assumed a place of both humility and authority, to preach the Gospel. In Jesus’ name, at the communion table I took the bread, gave thanks, broke it, and gave it to them to eat. In Jesus’ name I blessed them at the end of worship. Finally, in the way of a good host, I said goodbye at the door as they left. No one except me thought it strange that they were leaving their own house of worship, and the one bidding them farewell did not know how to turn out the lights or lock the door. 

Hosting the host

These days it is more common than ever for congregations to welcome guest pastors. More congregations do not have settled pastors, so they use supply and interim pastors more frequently. More settled pastors are taking sabbaticals which may mean different guest pastors are scheduled to lead worship for weeks or months at a time. I wish there was a guidebook for how to host guest pastors well. But since there isn’t, we can begin one here.

Before the day

  • Begin communication with the pastor at least a month in advance.
  • Have one primary point of contact for all communication. 
  • Be clear about expectations:
    • How long does the sermon typically last?
    • What is required for the bulletin and when? Scripture passages? A sermon title? Selecting hymns?
    • Is a children’s sermon expected?
    • What parts of the whole service are provided and what does the pastor provide? (For example, sometimes prayers of intercession are written and read by a lay person. Sometimes they are spontaneously spoken by the pastor.)
    • Are they expected to vest?
    • Do they need to provide images for projection? 
  • Be more directive and specific rather than less. Saying “anything you want is fine” is not helpful. Simply share what’s normally done or what folks have come to expect. If a pastor has a question about varying something, they will ask. 
  • Be clear about when the guest pastor is expected to arrive, especially if other worship leaders/musicians need to talk with them before the service begins
  • Work out honorarium and mileage beforehand so that you can give them a check on the day they are present OR let them know when a check will be sent.
  • Request a bio or words that can be used to introduce them on the day they are present. Ask for their pronouns and what they prefer to be called by parishioners. 

On the day

  • Meet the pastor when they arrive. Introduce yourself. Offer to help them with their things. 
  • Show them where the bathrooms are.
  • Show them where they will prepare for worship (office or sacristy usually). 
  • Offer a beverage before worship. 
  • Get them hooked up to the microphones and tell them anything they need to know about live streaming/cameras.
  • Instruct them on the mechanics of distribution of Holy Communion. How is it done? What does the pastor say and do? When do the communion servers commune, before or after?
  • Have some water at the pulpit or their seat. 
  • Do not ask a guest pastor to lead announcements. It’s more appropriate for a member of the church to do that. 
  • In the announcements, introduce the guest pastor using information you have collected beforehand and the title/name/pronouns they prefer to be called.
  • Invite them to fellowship afterwards and sit with them.
  • Give them the honorarium/mileage check.

Your turn

This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it is a starting point based on my own experience of being a guest or supply pastor in over a hundred different churches over the past two decades. If you’re a pastor, share with your leaders what it has been like for you to be welcomed well in your current or past settings. Add and subtract to the list provided here in ways that fit your context and share it with whoever will be responsible for welcoming a guest pastor in your absence.  

If you’re a lay person and have the opportunity to welcome a guest pastor, have a conversation with a few pastors you know and/or your leadership board about what they have experienced by way of welcome, both good and not so good experiences. Thoughtfully consider how your congregation can express the welcoming love of God to whatever guest God has called to host your worship experience. 

  • Libby Howe

    Pastor Libby Howe was ordained in the ELCA in 2002. She serves as the Congregational Support Coordinator for Peace and Justice Ministries with the Wisconsin Council of Churches working with congregations and leaders to integrate community focused peace and justice initiatives into their regular, ongoing ministries. She enjoys reading, writing, praying, and walking with her old dog, Marley. She lives in La Crosse, WI on the banks of the beautiful Mississippi River. More information about her work can be found at https://www.wichurches.org/leadership/

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of

0 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments