We love volunteers! But what if a volunteer doesn’t get along with others, consistently shows up late, or just doesn’t meet expectations?
You could ignore the situation or take a wait-and-see approach. However, the longer you wait the more you risk dissent, gossip, resentment, and low morale. You may even lose your most capable volunteers. While it is perfectly normal to dread difficult conversations, the best way to handle unmet expectations and conflict is promptly and candidly.
What happens if you find yourself in a situation where you need to let a volunteer go? What you do before, during, and after that conversation will help ensure that you maintain healthy relationships and a strong volunteer base.
Before
Before you let someone go, you as the church leader need to understand what is really going on. This involves diligence on your part to analyze, listen, and coach.
- Define the problem: If you are receiving complaints, be sure you separate personal interpretation from fact. It’s easy to say the volunteer is the problem, but that won’t really solve anything. Defining the problem helps you solve the problem.
- Prioritize: Make sure you know the difference between a chronic problem and someone who needs intervention. Always prioritize the safety of others.
- Seek advice: Ask another leader for their perspective. Getting another viewpoint from someone not involved will provide the objectivity you need.
- Meet: Once you have done your best to determine the problem, address the situation with the volunteer directly. Set up a short meeting to talk in person (by video if necessary) about what is going on.
- Provide clarity: Clearly state what you have heard and observed and how this negatively impacts the program or project and the other volunteers. Be direct.
- Listen: Ask the volunteer to respond to what you have told them and provide your full attention. Give them the opportunity to present another viewpoint without judgment.
- Look past the behavior: A poor fit can manifest in many ways. Are you dealing with a lack of training, unclear definition of responsibility, limited resources (time, money, space, materials), conflict of interest, lack of systems, bad fit, lack of appropriate skills, chemistry? The volunteer doesn’t have control over most of these, but they could be causing frustration that is showing up as irritability, passive aggressiveness, or defensiveness.
- Look for causes: Is the volunteer routinely late because they can’t find reliable transportation? Does the volunteer not understand the requirements—or that there are requirements—to successfully do this work? There are many reasons why people don’t live up to our expectations and it typically isn’t because they don’t want to do well.
- Keep an open mind: Approach the conversation with a growth mindset. You may hear things that challenge your perception of your leadership. When there is conflict or miscommunication it is almost never 100% one person’s fault. Find out what your role may be and show strength by owning up.
- Separate the person from the problem: Volunteers want to help and to be involved. Support and acknowledge the things that are going well. Stress that you want the volunteer to have a positive experience and you believe they can.
- Find the positive: Point out the volunteer’s strengths and other contributions. Be sure the volunteer knows you believe in their desire to help. Offer options for other ways to be involved if appropriate.
- Provide coaching: Create a short-term plan with the volunteer to address the problem. Be clear about what needs to change and how you will both know if the volunteer is successful. Provide training and any other support necessary. Stay connected so you know whether the plan is working.
During
The decision to remove or fire a volunteer is a last resort. If despite everyone’s best efforts the volunteer is not meeting expectations, for everyone’s sake you need to help them move on. While it may not be comfortable, it should also not come as a surprise.
- Meet: Set up time with the volunteer to meet in private. Include a third person (trusted leader) to observe and document. (In the unlikely event that the volunteer is so upset they become abusive or violent, someone else is there to support you both.)
- Be empathetic, but direct: Prepare by going over your past conversations with the volunteer. Summarize the problem, the steps you took to deal with it, and the opportunities offered for improvement. Make sure you feel confident that your expectations were clearly understood and the agreed-upon change did not occur.
- Show compassion: Acknowledge the effort the volunteer showed in trying to make the situation work. It doesn’t mean this is not a good person or that they can’t be successful in another area.
- Keep it short: This is not the time to discuss options, hear excuses, or give second chances. You have already had conversations about what to do to improve so this is not the time to be negotiating.
- Face it head on: Don’t beat around the bush or leave room for interpretation. You don’t want the volunteer to leave the meeting wondering where they went wrong. This is the most painful part of the process but being honest and direct will benefit you both.
- Be prepared: Some people view any feedback as criticism or a sign of personal failure. Don’t take it personally or get drawn into an argument. Gently redirect the conversation when you can to the reason you are here. Backtracking would be counterproductive.
- Be optimistic: Leave open the possibility that it may be a relief for the volunteer. Believe in the coaching interventions you have employed.
- Remain accessible: End with assurance that you value the volunteer. Don’t let this be the last conversation you have with them.
After
Reflect on your conversation and on the overall satisfaction of volunteers in your congregation. Look for ways to improve the volunteer experience. Commit to honesty and growth.
- Schedule a follow-up: If you didn’t have the opportunity to offer other options for engaging them in another volunteer capacity, use a follow-up meeting to do this. Or just meet for coffee and a chat. Let the volunteer know you want to engage with them and see them succeed.
- Be receptive: Ask your observer for honest feedback about the conversation—what went well and where you could improve. Treat this as a growth opportunity.
- Communicate: Be prepared to talk to volunteers and staff who are impacted by this move. Cut down on drama by addressing it as soon as possible, being direct and forthcoming, and offering a plan for moving forward.
- Check in: Commit to connecting with all your volunteers regularly and address small issues as they come up. Treat volunteers respectfully by providing clear expectations and honest, thoughtful feedback. Ask for their feedback in return.
- Evaluate: Consider how changes to recruitment and training could minimize problems in the future. Time spent ensuring a good fit up front is rarely wasted.
Your turn:
Who would benefit from some practice with these steps before a major conflict arises, so that these concepts can become integrated into how all of our ministries operate?
What are the opportunities to share these steps with committee leaders, staff or adults in general in the life of your congregation?
How will you talk about the benefits of being candid and proactive about expectations?
Further Reading on Managing Volunteers:
Leading Divided Groups: Wisdom from Nonprofits
Fixing a Toxic Team Culture Download the Church Delegation Playbook from Susan Beaumont and Gil Rendle
