I was sitting at my desk at church when the phone rang. It was Mark, a former “youth ministry kid” who had recently graduated from college. When I heard his voice, I was taken back to my first memory of him, in 7th grade, the only kid who came to Sunday morning Bible study that day. We ended up spending the whole hour talking about life while shooting rubber bands at the coat hooks on the wall. I asked him what he had been up to, and after a few minutes, he shared that he had just taken a job in youth ministry and wanted to connect.
Early in my years as a youth director, I discovered the joy of having conversations with young people, like Mark, talking about what was happening in their life and exploring how God might be moving in their life. I loved that questioning and wonderment were natural elements of dreaming about their future in light of a very real present-day decision.
What is discernment?
Discernment is the fancy word the church uses for these conversations. Discernment conversations did not end when I transitioned from youth ministry to teaching at a seminary. For almost four decades, I have been sitting around tables, at conferences or at Luther Seminary, listening to people’s stories and wondering how God might be calling them.
Discernment, in its simplest form, is being attuned to what’s happening in one’s life with a curiosity about how God is moving in and around them. It involves practices that are both personal and communal, such as prayer, reflection, and conversations with ministry leaders. While it is often associated with big decisions, like taking a new job or going to seminary, it is also related to important aspects of our day-to-day life, like how to balance time with family with time at church.
Discernment is conversation
If you called me today and asked for time to connect on what’s next for your ministry leadership, here are questions I would ask you:
- What brought you here? What is stirring in you? What nudged you to call?
- What reflection have you done personally? What excites you about leaning more fully into ministry? What stresses you out? What are you searching for at this moment? Why now?
- What obstacles exist? What keeps you from saying yes? Why haven’t you moved forward yet?
- What might be some next steps you can take? Who might be conversation partners?
One difficult thing about discernment is there are no right or wrong answers. Each of our journeys is different and discernment has its own time frame. And, to complicate it further, discernment never ends; it is a lifelong process. Each chapter or season of our life brings its own opportunities and challenges. But I do know that all of us are called into ministry. Ephesians 4:1 says, “I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” Not for your own gain, but (as Ephesians 4:12-13 says) so that “the body of Christ may be built up and all may reach unity in the faith and knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.”
Discernment is about others
At the end of the day, discernment is not about us! Discernment is about our collective call to be the body of Christ building up each other so that all people are united in faith and living into the fullness of Christ.
Today I realize that it is no surprise that discernment brings joy; accompanying each other in discovering God’s movement within and around us is central to our call as Christians. Being attentive to each other’s personal journeys and being curious about how the Spirit is awakening us to the needs of our neighbors is life changing.
So this week, take time to:
- Discern how God is moving within and around you.
- Read Ephesians 4. Reflect on what in the world has your attention.
- Wonder how the Spirit might be calling you to do something about it.
- Call a friend, or old youth worker, and ask to connect.
Trust me, it’s worth it. That phone call was a gift to me, and I hope to Mark as well. We met for ice cream that afternoon. And the rest is history. He is an amazing ministry leader and continues to serve God’s church in amazing ways. I’m grateful to have been a small part of the journey.
Interested in going deeper into discernment with Dr. Elton? Check out the (free!) Faith+Lead Academy course, Discerning: Exploring God’s Call to Ministry, available now!
