the nursing God
“Can a mother forget the baby at her breast…?
I will not forget you!” –Isaiah 49:15
a tingle
pinpricks of light; drawn out
you are full; you are emptied
look down
at tiny fingers splayed across
the white skin of your throat
feel everything
as your body gives life and
his grey-blue eyes roll back –
gobsmacked
with the pleasure of it all
searching for sugar maples
Today, I opened
a new jar of syrup.
As I pried the lid,
heard it pop
and give way,
I thought of you
and the bump and jostle
of the tailgate as we
rattled along the back lane
searching for sugar maples
the church basement floor,
where we sat side by side
in an empty classroom
inhaling chalk dust and exhaling
through tears and you told me
you hoped you were a good mom
your kitchen table, where
I sat with a paring knife and a
bowl of perfect peaches,
cupping them gently
to keep from bruising
their tender flesh
the football game
after your seizure
when you complained that
you weren’t allowed to drive
the Ash Wednesday service,
where you wept and I wept,
where we all wept at the burden it is
to be mortal
and your face, still
and waxen, as you
lay in the casket
and my daughter whispered,
“We’ll miss you, Miss Amy.”
Spirit, Thank You for Each Moment
This poem was written in imitation of, and appreciation for, the work of Ted Loder in “Thank You for Each Moment,” Guerrillas of Grace: Prayers for the Battle (Minneapolis: Augsburg Books, 1981), 43. (Formatting altered to fit blog constraints.)
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the pre-dawn moment,
the shrouded world, the narrowed view
for the cozy chair
the soft light, the open Word,
for my peaceful heart
and the hope dwelling in me.
Prepare me
to engage whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the breakfast moment,
the steeping leaves, the spoons clinking,
for laughing kids,
the unpacked lunch, the clothes-wrestle
for my frantic heart
and the frustration dwelling in me.
Calm me
to receive whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the workaday moment,
the phone call, the unplanned meeting,
for the list of tasks
the bills to pay, the emailing
for my ho-hum heart
and the boredom dwelling in me
Focus me
to notice whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the afterschool moment,
the pick-up line, the ‘how-was-your-day?’
for dinner prep
the chopped onion, the pan-sizzle
for my weary heart
and the distraction dwelling in me
Center me
to see whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the mealtime moment,
the food prepared, the set table
for family gathered
the sights and smells, the conversation
for my eager heart
and the longing dwelling in me
Nourish me
to taste whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment,
for the pajama moment,
the brushed hair, the toothpaste splatters
for story times
the open book, the bedtime snuggles
for my full heart
and the contentment dwelling in me
Teach me
to hold whatever comes as a gift
and to praise you in it.
Spirit, thank you for each moment
for the lights out moment,
the daily account, the mind’s reflection
for all that’s happened,
the joys, the sorrows
for my awestruck heart
and the wonder abounding in me
Embrace me
as I cherish whatever comes as a gift
and praise you in and through it all.
